My mind is telling me to fight on...my body is telling me to give up
I really feel more and more tired as each day goes by especially since last week due to end of year admin stuff and ML intensive for the 4N and 3E. Been alone for 2-3 weeks since my good friends Aiman and Mis were not around due to health reasons. Hence, having no one to let it out to also tires me.
However, today...today was the day when I feel like giving up as my body is slowly getting weaker and weaker. I cried just now for no apparent reason and I feel like crying again now. I guess it's because I am super frustrated at myself for being tired at a time like this. My students need me ( I think so...but their marks and work quality are not showing so) but my body needs the rest. And just now...marking their work didnt help either. In fact, it dampened my spirit even further. Then, I become so pissed at them. I put in effort in ensuring I do not shortchange them and yet...they are not showing enough effort to show me that they want this so bad. Like...i marked 3 compos, and students made the same mistakes thrice!!! That just show they couldnt be bothered to check their work and mistakes and make their subsequent work better!!
I envied those pregnant teachers who can still carry on with their normal duties till they are due to give birth. And here I am only 5 months preggy feeling all the aches and pain...physically, mentally and emotionally. Mis said to get support from the other teachers but I so do not want to burden them especially Aiman as she just got back from leave.
I tried just now to ask whether I can be excused from marking later but I was told that there's a possibility that there's a shortage of markers. I dont know if I can even handle travelling from home to Tiong Bahru for more than 2 wks!!! I am so weak!
Since the others have gone for marking, I know it's only fair for me to go no matter what. So I willl...and I pray that I can handle it all. K...now i dun feel like typing already....
However, today...today was the day when I feel like giving up as my body is slowly getting weaker and weaker. I cried just now for no apparent reason and I feel like crying again now. I guess it's because I am super frustrated at myself for being tired at a time like this. My students need me ( I think so...but their marks and work quality are not showing so) but my body needs the rest. And just now...marking their work didnt help either. In fact, it dampened my spirit even further. Then, I become so pissed at them. I put in effort in ensuring I do not shortchange them and yet...they are not showing enough effort to show me that they want this so bad. Like...i marked 3 compos, and students made the same mistakes thrice!!! That just show they couldnt be bothered to check their work and mistakes and make their subsequent work better!!
I envied those pregnant teachers who can still carry on with their normal duties till they are due to give birth. And here I am only 5 months preggy feeling all the aches and pain...physically, mentally and emotionally. Mis said to get support from the other teachers but I so do not want to burden them especially Aiman as she just got back from leave.
I tried just now to ask whether I can be excused from marking later but I was told that there's a possibility that there's a shortage of markers. I dont know if I can even handle travelling from home to Tiong Bahru for more than 2 wks!!! I am so weak!
Since the others have gone for marking, I know it's only fair for me to go no matter what. So I willl...and I pray that I can handle it all. K...now i dun feel like typing already....
posted by yunaKatz at 7:51 PM
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