DUnno wat to call this entry.

I am writing this to find an avenue to release my deep down feelings. On my birthday, he made an effort to rekindle old moments by having a picnic at Marina South. It was great and sweet of course. I told him that I will be giving him another chance in this relationship but then he needs to be patient with me coz it's really hard to spark off the love back when it's not there anymore.

People may say that hey...if u dun have feelings for him anymore then why stay together. I dunno why. Maybe it's because he seemed so sincere and stuff. And the fact that we r already engaged so this involved FAMILY. ANd i dun wanna bring shame to my parents.

I guess I believe in finding the one true love and marrying tt person so much that it has clouded me with STUPID UNREALISTIC FANTASIES. I dreamed of finding a man that I truly, madly and deeply in luv with and marry tt person and live happyly ever after. But I guess this doesn't exist huh.

I still dun feel the same way as he feels about me. As a matter of fact, I dunno whether I could bring myself to love him as much as he does. I am so sorry. For betraying ur luv. I dunno why I am like this. I guess....I've been disappointed in love so many times that I am scared to let myself in anymore. Furhermore, U have greatly disappointed me before...it hurts so much that it managed to banish my deep feelings for u.

Like many people say, it's better to marry the man who loves u than marry the man u love. Maybe that's why I decided to give him another chance. But then....deep inside my heart, I still yearn for the person I love...whom I dunno who.