Depressed

In school...listening to HazrulNizam's Kaulah Segalanya. A true sentimental song...which has been my favourite since the beginning. But now...the song is not only my favourite...my it somehow has something to do with what I am going thru now.

A few people asked me whether I am ok or not. Of course not. And while trying to explain the situation..I cried in the staff room. The pain is just so unbearable that I need to let it all out.

How hard I want to accept the things that had happened...it's still difficult. Right now...I am in such a confusion.

One side of me wants me to hate and be angry...another just wants love and support from the same person who had broke my heart into pieces.

Why? Despite all the hurt and pain...why do I still forgive him? Why do I still accept him? Why? I am so confused.

LOVE...it has lost its meaning. ANd just went I am opening my heart back...things happened and I find it hard to even say the word.

Felt so betrayed that I couldn't trust anymore...that I couldn't love anymore. Or am I?

My frens said that the reason why I didn't leave is becoz I still love. Is it?

I am feeling so depressed...

How I wish I could just fly into the sky...fly so high. FLy far, far away and never return to the place which destroys me.

But...can I?