Stronger...tougher...yet still confused
It has been 5 days now since the disaster. Somehow...going to school manage to distract me from all the woes and pain. CHasing students...laughing with them...somehow manage to suppress my deepest sorrow.
It has been 8 years and 5 days. To me...the 8 long years seems to give no meaning at all. Everything has to start from scratch. Words of luv once professed...becomes meaningless now. Healing a hurting heart is so time consuming and my energy has almost run out. I am so lucky to be blessed with quite a strong heart coz despite what happened...I can still face him without wanting to just lash it out. I can still smile and laugh with him even though deep inside me...I am crying. I can still accept him...even though my heart is rejecting him at the moment.
The fact that he gave me the BEST anniversary gift...hurts me a lot! Talked to my fren...she was amazed how I can get by...how I can be strong despite what had been done upon me. I guess its because of the years of pain and torture...that has caused my heart and myself to be stronger and tougher when facing tests after tests in life.
I thank God for it coz without these tests, I may just wanna give up upon hearing the news. I might just wanna end my life....or someone's...if I am not strong enough.
Am still in pain...who wun...be now...at least....I can hide that pain and sorrow.Still confused...but I can still go on with life.
It has been 8 years and 5 days. To me...the 8 long years seems to give no meaning at all. Everything has to start from scratch. Words of luv once professed...becomes meaningless now. Healing a hurting heart is so time consuming and my energy has almost run out. I am so lucky to be blessed with quite a strong heart coz despite what happened...I can still face him without wanting to just lash it out. I can still smile and laugh with him even though deep inside me...I am crying. I can still accept him...even though my heart is rejecting him at the moment.
The fact that he gave me the BEST anniversary gift...hurts me a lot! Talked to my fren...she was amazed how I can get by...how I can be strong despite what had been done upon me. I guess its because of the years of pain and torture...that has caused my heart and myself to be stronger and tougher when facing tests after tests in life.
I thank God for it coz without these tests, I may just wanna give up upon hearing the news. I might just wanna end my life....or someone's...if I am not strong enough.
Am still in pain...who wun...be now...at least....I can hide that pain and sorrow.Still confused...but I can still go on with life.
posted by yunaKatz at 1:17 PM
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