In pain......

Was on MC again yesterday. Cramps......very irritating. On Tuesday I almost fainted in class coz of dizziness. Felt nauseous too. Just hate it! So yesterday I went to the doc in the afternoon. Zura recommended me to him. She also recommended me the medicine she had been taking for 4 years which helped her overcome the problems coz of this stupid menses. I talked to the doctor about it and he recommended me another type of medicine which was slightly different from the once Zura recommended. FOr this one, I need not stop taking it at a certain time. Total expenses: $60!!! Shoot!!

Today...my tummy still ache. Getting worse and worse. Right now cuddling my cat pillow in my staff room so that my tummy feels better. Tomorro is BBD, wonder if I can make it. Amirah's Grill is too far for a pain like this. Its also too expensive for a broke gerl like me. Sigh.

Gonna buy food for a while....chow

Clear things up...

Went to school as usual. Though my heart is still feeling hurt. I so much wanna get over it...its so hard. Without support, I can just fall apart. It kept haunting me sometimes and I got so scared to tell him about it. Its so hard to forgive what else to forget. I had forgiven though....but to forget...that wun be possible. Even my frens said so.

SO yesterday I felt hurt and angry again. As I had to keep it all inside, I became angrier. Regret was there too. It hurt so bad...he hurt me so bad.

Today, I muster myself up to tell him the truth. Tears just rolled down my cheeks while I told him what I felt. He promised to support me and be with me and face the consequences. I hope he wun break those promises. My feelings got slightly better. But I know these will keep resurfacing as time goes by.

But for now, I am much better.

AT his place now, he's ill. Got 1 day mc as he is having fever. Came over right after school. Bought for him Nasi Ayam and lotz of Air Badak.

Finished marking 2 sets of papers. So going home now......

Dreading Monday....

Very tired!!! Yesterday had BBQ with ERA. Me and Izoned was super tired...but we still went. It has been a long time since we saw them. Before that we went over to Marine Parade to settle some stuff. It seemed that Abg Zag was satisfied with Izoned's job...so happy for him.

Reached East Cost at around 7 plus. Not many people yet. It was a bit sombre though..dunno why. Well, we just want to enjoy ourselves so..what the heck. There was a lot of food and I dun think that all of us can finish them.

After eating, we took part in various games. The 1st one was we had to pass water bombs to one another and those with the most will win. Our team lost. 2nd game was the relay. We had to eat 'petai', drink sugarless tea and put our faces in flour to get toothpicks. Our team won! Then it was the thread the string game. Our team won again. After that was the pass the string with our mouths game. We lost. The next game was the caterpillar game. Our team won. By that time I was super tired already because I hurt my pelvic joint. But then I just continued coz Izoned didn't want to replace me. HUH! After that was the spiderweb game. Our team lost. I didn't join the next game coz I was super tired oredi.

Overall, the games were ok except for some people who were such spoilsports. After that we continued with BBQing. Initially we planned to stay overnight...but we decided not to.

Today I am super shagged. Tomorrow schooling....NOW..I so dread going to school. Over there...its like I am fighting the battle alone. My 'kaki' not so fun. I so miss Azriana and Redha. During my practicum, we really had fun. Me and Az would share ideas...stay back together and do our marking together. COmplain to each other and went out together. It was super fun! Even though teaching can take a toll on us, we had great fun with one another by our side.

I miss them...I miss my NIE buddies. I miss seeing the fire burning in my eyes. I miss ME and my dream of helping to mould young minds. Right now...the fire is flickering...a slight wind may just put it off. Sigh..I so dread Mondays now..coz its the start of school......

Observation...

Slept late yesterday to prepare for my observation and finish marking 1 set of papers. It was so difficult waking up...esp in such a cool weather.

I discuss the worksheet I've given my 2E for their class. 3E...presentation for the Malay poems thingy. 2T is now having their survey thingy and I just have to sit and wait in the staff room for them to complete. I hope my 3N observation today will go well. Put my life and soul into it. Can't go to MT room early coz there's another class. Very nervous.....wish me luck...

SICK N TIRED

WAKING UP IN THE MORNING IS A DRAG. FEEL LIKE GETTING ANOTHER DAY OF MC...BUT...I'M NOT SO CRUEL. WUN DO THAT TO MY STUDENTS EVEN THOUGH THEY WILL SUURE LUV IT. (I AM PUTTING MY HEAD DOWN ON MY TABLE WHILE TYPING THIS WITH 1 HAND...PARDON THE CAPITAL LETTER).

1ST CLASS 3NT...DEY NOTICED HOW TIRED I WAS. YAH...N STILL IN PAIN COZ MY GUM IS STIL SWELLING. DID COMPRE WITH THEM...THIS TIME I TEACH THEM TECHNICS.

AFTER THAT WAS 2NA. RETURNED THEIR COMPRE WHICH WAS BAD..DUNNO WHY THEY CANT DO IT DESPITE GIVING THEM THE ANSWERS. THE GRAMMAR BASICALLY IS THE PROBLEM...(SHUCKS...MY EYES R CLOSING!!) THEIR COMPO WAS BAD DESPITE ME GOING THRU WITH THEM THE FORMAT. DUNNO WAT TO DO WITH THEM...

AFTER THAT DID EDITING OF EXAM PAPER IN THE STAFF RM. MISLIMAH LATER TOLD ME THAT ... (a grp of Zhenghua students were making a din ard my neighbourhood...gosh..my students!! Wat luck!! They were shouting like hooligans! My 2NT..will never change I guess. I will let them see whose boss again this Thursday!! Pissed now at them coz they woke me up...dats why I can type in small letters now)

Ok back to my story...Mislimah informed me that Nuraini wanted to have a formal observation with me. She told me before the oral..but then Mislimah said postponed to after oral. Den there was no news...last minute..then Nuraini told Mislimah. Shucks! She also informed that we have to submit our EPMS next Monday. Double shucks! After hearing that...I was sooooo stressed. How to conduct normal lesson when the exams are coming! I will just have to do revision with them......argh!!!

Will try to talk o her tomorrow lah.

Went back..hungry...ate the dish that mum cooked...which is so not the filling. Now I am hungry again. Triple shucks!

Waiting for Izoned...he's coming over. Maybe can eat n destress sumwhere. Cant take it oredi...need to rest! To hell with preparing for tomorro's lessons!!!

Toothache...gum swollen

On MC today. My gum swollen and its causing a headache. Headed down to the dentist and my teeth really got wat they deserve. Scaling, polishing, filling etc etc. Endured the pain....and voila...goodbye tartar..hello cleaner teeth! Even my swollen gum swell down. Great.

He suggested I put on braces...but $4000 is a lot of money. Wanted to do it for a very long time. Maybe after my wedding lah ah. Now need to save for wedding.

Right now updating my blog. Later will do my marking. Need to return back their work before the End of Year exam.

K gtg...

SUnday....exam papers!

Went over to Izoned's place coz his mum cooked Nasi Lemak. Did my exam papers there too. Didnt get to enjoy my Nasi Lemak coz of my swollen gum. STupid tooth caused it.
Finished doing the exam papers. Yay! But will let Mislimah check it first to see whether its ok for the 1NT.

After that went down to buy food....I was famished! I wanted to eat something soupy coz of my stupid tender n swollen gum. There was nothing else but Maggi which I dun mind eating coz at home I can eat cereals if I happen to be hungry again. But Izoned didn't allow it. And so at last we came back home empty handed. He was pissed abt it...and I was pissed too coz I hate it wen I am made the guilty for being hungry. Really hurt me inside coz everytime I feel hungry...I must be made guilty abt it. Is it sooooo wrong for me to have a bigger stomach den U??! I wonder. Furthermore, I even told him to buy his food and I can buy my maggi...but nooo..he refused...so...it's my fault?! I wonder...again.

We headed off to Jurong Pt. He brought me to Banquet for my soupy meal. It really made my gum better. Bought my $10 watch!! Hooray!! That actually made my sad feeling better.

Went back...watched Apprentice before headed back to my Home Not So Sweet Home. (My room is getting cramp...hate it!)

A new phone!!

Wanted to go to Causeway Pt or Jurong Pt but then I changed my mind. Went to Town instead. Wanted to redeem my Quidam mug at M1 shop. So I redeemed the mug...it was huge and nice. Izoned decided to cancel the 2 extra lines he had. One belonging to my mum (she bought a new line...from SIngtel). In the end, we only cancelled one cause we couldn't resist the offer that the lady gave. I was able to buy my dream phone K750i for just $403! And she was also willing to lower down my mum's plan to $10 a month.

So I finally have my dream phone...had to go thru a loooooooooooooooongggg process though. Very happy n satisfied with the service we had. Even though they were closing, they waited for us till we finally bought the phone. There were some confusion in the process. Thanks M1 Paragon!

SO me and Izoned were happy with my new K750i. (Bought for him bluetooth headset..no wonder he's happy). Snapped few photos before heading down to LPS for dinner.

Went back home to watch DVDs but couldn't. So after trying out our new stuffs he headed back home.

Super tired and HUNGRY!

Had a very long day today wen it's supposed to be short. Wanted to go home after school but NUraini asked me out to lunch. SO I just went. It's all because that Izoned was super unwilling to send me to Chestnut Drive Sec for my vetting later. Had lunch at Liquids Cafe. I was already super sleepy. After that went directly to Chestnut Drive.

A very long long process. I did Sec 1N and 1E. Initially it was fine...but then wen I did Sec 1E...it got worse. The teacher that did the paper with me just wouldn't listen to my and the other teacher's advice. She just correct the mistakes herself even though I say it's wrong. Issit because I am new dats why U have to treat me like this?!! Well, at least I consult other people before correcting mistakes....its super irritating. Wats worse...wen everyone had finished except our grp...she rushed into it and didn't even correct most of the stuff. In the end, she asked me to do it and it looked like I am the slow one. WTF!!

After that, Mis dropped me at BPP. I decided to go tuition. BUT....Wafir forgot that we arranged for tuition today. He was not at home. Wahlau! I was so dead beat but I decided to drag myself to tuition and he decided to forget all abt it!!

Then I had to walk all the way from Bukit Panjang Plaza back home with my super heavy bag.

Upon reaching home, I was tired and hungry. Guess wat!! My mum didn't leave any food for me!! It really has been days since she cooked. Coz she had been going to hospital on a daily basis to visit Aaron. Eh hello! Yes Aaron is sick....but there are still human beings here in your house that need to be fed too!! I was super pissed!

As a result, I just had to scold someone so I did. Scolded my brother coz he kept using my laptop to surf the Net. It has been a long time since I scolded him....so this is a gd time. He never studies at home...just surf the net with his stupid frens! So I scolded him and limit him to access the Net once a week only. Furthermore, I hate it wen I got back home and he's there in my room! NO PRIVACY!!

Now I finally am alone in my room...PRIVACY!!! Sumthing which I so need since I was a teenager!!! I also need FOOD!!! But right now just soooooo tired to go out to buy food. And my tummy is gonna have gastric soon. Shucks!! Wat a day!!

Drama!!

So sleepy...well...went Mustafa Centre with Izoned on Wednesday and came back at 4am. Got only 1 hr of sleep because I couldn't sleep till 6am. And today full day some more!!

1st class 2E...did letter writing with them. This time...informal letter writing. No problem.
For 3E, I brought them to the fish pond to comduct mini Malay poem activity. Printed some stuff and they had to just follow instructions given. Not bad...not bad at all. Will have presentation on Monday.
Then 2T....as usual...they were a noisy bunch. Worse than animals in the zoo. Got more and more irritating. Couldn't take it anymore when one of the students just showed his middle finger in front of my face!!! He woke the devil in me and the whole class tasted my wrath. They were shocked of course because all these while I have never scolded them like that. Now they know who's boss. When I had relief with them....all of them were cooperative! Good! One boy apologised for making me angry...awwww....so sweet!
Then for 3N...taught them comprehension today. As usual, that boy kept bugging me abt him being lonely and stuff. To shut him up I just said that well...he wanted it as well.
BUT...without knowing the truth he approached that boy. And as a result he accused me of lying!! So drama!!! Aiyah.....just couldn't be bothered lah....I just wanna do my job. Drama2 with students like so lame!!

Well....things got resolved somehow. Maybe...lets just see wat happened.

1st day without him.....

Just now was the 1st day he was not in my class. I transferred him out to Mislimah's class due to some reasons. One student kept bugging me to bring him back...but all decision made is final.

Everything went fine...maybe because Nuraini was in the class. But I dunno why but they were so pleasant...hahahahah.

Initially, I thought of talking to them....but then...since Nuraini was in class...decided to continue with lesson instead.

Later having tuition with my Pri 4 student. Dunno why I take up this assignment...wanted to give it to Az in the 1st place but the mother decided that her son didn't need tuition. However, during the holidays, the mother asked for it and I couldn't give it to Az because she was going to Thailand. To have tuition once a week is already difficult but the mother has to ask for twice a week. So tiring.

Oh shoot! I have not prepared for my 3E lesson. Better start doing it now coz tomorro I got class at the start of the day. And wat to teach 3N?? Maybe tell them the exam format. And photocopy sumthing for them. K...got to work

Jerk!

Jerks are just jerks....they can never change!!

Hurt...anger....dat was how I felt. Felt so cheated......again!!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Just now went out with Norhana and my sis Dirah. wanted to find for her maternity wear but then...we realised that on weeknights, shops close early. We went to have dinner first at Siam Kitchen...with all the giggling and talking...we only finished at 9pm. By that time, most shops are closed.

All my shopping desire...BANISHED!! I did buy 1 thing though...my printer ink cartridge!! PATHETIC!! Didn't even get to buy my $10 watch!! :(

Went back by cab...he called. Still super pissed at him. So didn't bother to talk to him much.

After that I went out again all by myself to chill. Just pure chilling. Went back quite late. urgh!

Hope I wun be late for school tomorrow.

School has begun......

I have not fully enjoy my HOLIDAYS!!!! DARN!!!

My 1st day in school was ok except that I feel so tired and sleep. Well, I slept at 3am in the morn the day before to prepare for my lesson...dats why. But it's ok, everything went well.....dun have to scold anyone. However, there was a slight diff though......quietness between us. I sensed it in the class just now. He was all quiet....even Nuraini sensed it. At that moment, I was certain that he should change class. So...starting from this week....he's no longer mine.....my student that is! Khahahaha.....

2nd day...ok. Got 2 classes only. 2N was ok...did letter writing with them. 3T...did grammar. So all was fine. Can't wait to meet Nong later. We are going to have dinner n shopping at Jurong Point.....yay!

Oh...but got tuition before that. My 2nd time...another 6 more time before I get my pay...hahahah.

K...feeling sleepy in my cubicle...listening to slow songs make it worse!

School's starting!!!

Just finished preparing for my Monday's lesson. Be teaching 1E comprehension about taboos. For 3E, be introducing them to poems to prepare them for creative writing. 2N just go thru corrections with them. Then 3T do comprehension.

Quite shacked...just now went to NLB to check it out. HUGE! There are 14 stories altogether. I borrowed some Malay books.

After that, went to Arab Street coz we tot of eating at Es Cafe...but then we changed our plan. We ate at Zam Zam instead. So I had Mutton Chop and Murtabak.

Went straight home after that...didn't even get to go Bugis Junction..sob sob.

At Izoned's place, watch Apprentice before heading home.

Got to turn in now. Tomorro school already!!!

Still got many more to mark!!!

Just got back from my aunt's place. Got kenduri. Had so much to eat so I am really full right now. Making this entry while chatting wif Za and Hanim...1/3 of my Burger Bundle Gang. Khekhehkhe. Miss them a lot...coz I have been MIA for 2 Burger Bundle outings. Hopefully I can make it for the upcoming one. Ok...back to my entry of the day.

Before going to my aunt's place, I managed to finish 2 sets of compre and 2 sets of compo. So tiring!! Still got many more to go! Geez.... still got compre n compos not marked from other classes. Argh!!

I just hate the marking! Especially from 1E and 2E coz there are like so man students. 1E got 45 students altogether. 2E got around 38. Always thinking twice before giving them homework.

Had planned wat to teach when school reopens. But then have not prepare the materials yet. Urgh.....

K den....need to turn in....tomorro more marking to be done and will be going to the new NLB to check it out. Going wif Izoned n family.

Nite

Mass Lecture at Suntech

Today had Mass Lecture at Suntech regarding Humour in Classroom. Very interesting. Met up with Nuraini before going in. We only got in at 3pm wen it started at 2pm. Khekhe.

The talk was funny. Very humorous. And all the way I was like wondering how to insert all this humour in my classrooms. Feel like its so impossible. Esp with my 3N. Khakhakha.

Saw Ihah, Nong, Noni and Hisham there. Well, I guess the mass lecture was worth it after all..khekhekhe.

After that, Izoned picked me up and we headed to the hospital. Aaron looked better....not in pain as much as the day before. He was eating wen we reached. Pity him....couldn't move at all. The only way he can move is up and down...his bed that is.

He slept right after his dinner. Guess he must be super tired. He didn't sleep the night before coz he was in so much pain.

Just hope he will recuperate fast.

Much deserved HOLIDAY!

Planned to go East Coast today wif Izoned. Well, it's the holidays and we have not even gotten our much deserved rest. BUT then....Izoned went to school first in the morning coz of his O level students. *HEY U ALL!!! U DUNNO HOW LUCKY U ALL ARE TO HAVE SUCH A TEACHER WHO IS WILLING TO SACRIFICE HIS MUCH DESERVED REST FOR YOU ALL!! SO THE LEAST THING U CAN DO IS TURN UP AND FINISH UP UR WORK!!!*

He came over around 4pm. We packed up and headed to East Coast. This time we pitched tent. Had a really great rest...with me taking photos of the beach....n him painting. The sea breeze calmed our nerves....as if blowing all our stress away. There were some interesting things that happened at night though. We saw this 1 group doing this ritual-like thingy as if calling out the spirits from the sea. They were chanting and burning joss sticks. It was quite a scary sight. Izoned asked me to take photos but of course I wun do it. God knows wat might happened.

Den after that, I felt slightly eerie...Izoned told me that he saw some things floating in the sea too. As if there were a number of heads floating in the sea. Eerie indeed....

Later, my sis called Izoned to inform us that Aaron...my sister's bf met with and accident while working at Pizza Hut. She said it was serious. So we packed up our stuff quickly and headed back home to put our stuff before going to NUH to visit him.

Upon reaching there, I was really shocked by the severness of his accident. His spine has a fracture, his shoulder blade oso has a fracture on the right side. His neck has to be on support. His left ankle is fractured too. Pelvic bone too. There were so many broken bones everywhere...I think it will take a long time before he is fully recovered.

Pity him. He just started working in Pizza Hut as a deliveryman. He is also holding another job. Now, he has to rest for almost half a year. He couldn't remember wat happened still. But from some witnesses, we got to know that he was hit by a pick up and flew from his bike.

We went back home at around 3am. Super shagged!!

Nite

Contented...

Finally! Had my Almond Jelly with Longan!! Was craving for it for such a looooooooong time. Was determined to get it this time...and I did!!

It's been the 4th day of the holidays....still not enjoying them. How to when U have a lot of marking to do.......even if I am free......Izoned is not.....NO FUN AT ALL!!

But it's ok......have to do our job right.

Planning to go to the beach either on Thurs to chill....hope the plan wun be cancelled this time.

Oh no!! Friday got course at Suntech. From 2-5pm....urgh....nvm lah..luckily the course quite interesting. It's regarding Humour in Classroom. Looking forward to know wat it is all abt.

K...I am super contented and full now...gonna turn in....chao

I can't breathe easy...without u

BLUE LYRICS

"Breathe Easy"

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find
Oooohhh...why...oooh -- why...

[CHORUS]
I... can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I... can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside

I won't forget, no i won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one i was looking to find

Ooh -- why...ooooh, why -- why...

[CHORUS]

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life

That's all I'm breathing for

Ooooooohhhhh -- tell me why

Oh won't you tell me why

I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

I... can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night

Till you're by my side

Coz i can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

There's no air.

Dance Reflections 2005

Happy Birthday to uuuuuuuu!!

Happy 1st Birthday to my niece, Iynara Syaraufairah!

Will be going to Changi Beach later to celebrate! But then have not buy her any presents yet!! Howwwwwwwwwwwww??? No money sia....

Well...I guess I just have to make myself useful later...khekhekhe

Izoned will not be joining coz he got canoe course for 2 days. Well, he'll be back in the evening but then he doesn't wanna go coz it'll be too tiring.

Then Monday-Wednesday he will be having NPCC day camp. Another 3 days burnt. We will only have 4 days of holidays to enjoy...sigh. This is what I dun like about uniform grps.....always wanna 'makan' our holidays.

We, teachers, deserve to rest as much as we can u know. Teaching U, students, are so energy-consuming. We work 24-7...with no overtime pay. At home still need to prepare work...den do marking...plan lessons...all these at no charge.

So why not at least give teachers the holiday they deserve. Why???

Why am I feeling this way?

It's Friday....had to go to school. Luckily there's only 2 classes. 2E and 3E. Was trying to put on a happy front but only God knows how I am suffering inside. Been feeling like this for awhile now. It was worse yesterday.

Can't explain it. Sigh......

It's maybe lethargy and stress. And that I can't get a rest despite being ill. I dun only have to please the students, teachers but family members and frens as well. Sigh.....

Right now my stupid cramp come back...again...writhing in pain. PreMenstrual Syndrome is common...but PostMenstrual?? Dunno why I got that too....

K....me packing up n go. Just too not in the mood to stay in sch. Chow!

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!

Happy Teachers' Day to all the teachers in the world!!

Firstly, i wanna thank all my teachers for making me wat I am now. Without U all, I wouldn't know what I will do in my life.

Mrs. Arul...u r the 1st DM that really really cares a whole lot abt ur students. Despite ur firmness and strictness, u r such a soft-hearted person. U were there when I was down. U gave me support and lifted me up when I fell.

My other teachers in JI such as Mrs Meya, Miss Rebecca, Miss Lee, Mdm Ong (my surrogate mum) etc etc....U believed in me when others thought that I would fail. U put hope in all of us. As a result, I am stronger and more determined to do well and make all of u proud. Had great joy under all of u.

To my dance teacher, Mr Osman. U dun only teach us how to dance on stage...u taught us how to dance in life....the numerous advice u gave us were really helpful. Really appreciate what U have given to me.

To my teachers in NIE....u all showed me why it's such a wonderful thing to teach. Everytime U tell us stories about ur teaching experience, ur eyes glistened with joy. Now that I am a teacher, I understand why. Despite all the downfall, U just need 1 beautiful memory to make it all worthwhile.

Esp to Cikgu Saeda. U are the greatest teacher of all time! Ur patience, ur warmth, ur smile make me all good inside. U make me see what a good teacher should be. U make me believe that i am worth it. Despite my glitches, U gave me support and lifted me up. How I wish I could be like you......but I guess I can't...coz u are the epitome of the perfect woman, teacher....and I am like soooooo far away.

Dear teachers, thank u with all my heart for what great things u have done for me. I will remember ur deeds till I die. Happy Teachers' Day!